Ever tried to photograph a puppy? Not so easy. Here is a tongue-in-cheek method for capturing those perfect puppy photos with your new friend.
- Remove camera from box and turn on.
- Remove camera box from puppy’s mouth and throw it in recycling.
- Remove puppy from recycling and brush shredded cardboard from muzzle.
- Choose suitable background for photo.
- Mount camera on tripod and focus.
- Find puppy and remove dirty sock from mouth.
- Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
- Run after puppy and place in pre-focused spot, then return to camera.
- Forget about the spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
- Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
- Get cloth and clean nose print from lens.
- Chase puppy to retrieve cloth.
- Put magazines back on coffee table and put puppy back in front of camera.
- Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head.
- Replace glasses and check camera for damage.
- Jump up in time to catch your puppy relieving themselves on the pre-focused spot.
- Say “No, outside”, despite it being too late.
- Clean up mess.
- Pour whisky.
- Sit in chair, enjoy whisky, and resolve to complete puppy preschool before trying puppy photos again.
